December 11th, 2004
Spiteful, Not Wicked
Have to say, I never expected to see a Something Awful update based off and parodying a bit Notes From Underground.
Posted by fad at 10:48am
December 10th, 2004
Out
Have a good weekend.Oh, one other thing. The little girl in the picture here is freaking me out.
Posted by fad at 3:41pm
Random Randomness
Chicken!
Posted by fad at 12:50pm
Today's Post
A teaser trailer for Tim Burton's new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie is online. Apparently Mr. Wonka is a heroin faced, hyperactive loon in this version. At least my fears that the oompa-loompas were all going to be replaced by digital Helena Bonham Carters in her Planet of the Apes suit appear to have been misplaced or merely related to that time I was on the 5 Second Diet (in which all food must have sat on the floor a minimum of 5 seconds before eating).In other future movie news, the voice of Aslan in next year's The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe movie has been cast. And a report over at that "Ain't I A Big, Fat Fucking Tool" site has the release date for it set one year from yesterday on my brother's 36th birthday.
Here ends this post.
Posted by fad at 9:23am
Dorky Update
I stumbled on a neat little show on the History Channel yesterday. What, something other than UFO shows and JFK conspiracies? Yup! (And for those who bitch about those, just remember 6 years ago it was nothing but the same Hitler documentaries, often just re-edited with new voice over, about every possible facet of his life (how he related to the women in his life or the occult or to animals or Georing's slash fanfiction involving him) and leftover A&E "Biography" shows played over and over and over. It wasn't called the Hitler Channel just because George Bush was going to be President in a few years. It's always been weak on the history part.) This show is called "The Adventure of English" and is about the evolution of the English language set in context of historical, social development.Now, like with most history things I see on TeeVee -- just like with any single sourced thing -- I can't vouch for any accuracy since it is also designed to be entertaining. Simon Schama is the king of this sort of stuff. I don't trust his history much. Oh, he is for the most part accurate, but he is always far too tempted by the story rather than the truth. So too often you'll find some interesting detail that is apocraphyl at best, but presented by him as the truth. However, this situation isn't really bad as long as it raises the proper curiousity to check things out with more sources.
An example of this comes from the one show I've seen so far. It covered the period from just post-Norman conquering to Chaucer. One bit presented is that when you look at our words for the animal and then the meat that comes from it, the word for the animal is most often English, whereas the word for the meat is most often French. "Cow" comes from old English (nightmarish mornings come from Olde English); "beef" is French. "Pig" English; "pork" French. What can be inferred from this? That, during the time these words developed or worked into English, those who spent more time with the animal than the food were the English peasants and serfs. The French speaking nobility dealt with these creatures mostly as food, hence their word dominated for that.
Now is this true? It might be, and is certainly fascinatingly plausible. A cursory check shows that at least the word origins part appears to be true. And that's really the point. After watching this, I wanted to go check other sources to confirm it.
Anyway, this has turned into a crappy book report, so I'd best quit now so that it can stay up a whole 20 minutes before I delete it instead of 10.
Posted by fad at 6:01am
Bonus Post In Which I Demonstrate How Stupid I Am
This post by Tim Blair gave me an excuse for a boring ramble (which will likely get hidden until the weekend). The set-up: An exhibit on an office building of a display by an artist that has the faces of four Palestinians killed in recent years. Two of these are of previous Hamas leaders and founders. When complaints came up, the spokesman, as quoted by Tim, said the usual."I think that it is important we receive a diverse range of opinions and cultural comment from a wide variety of people," he said.In other words the usual bullshit blah-blah cha-cha. Really this was just something designed to get the outraged! to be outraged! because they can be so predictably. It gets your name in the papers and is lots of free publicity. For a quick self-righteous digression, I am often just as annoyed at the outraged! over the outraged!, those people who climb upon their high horse so that they can reach their more-enlightened-and-better-than-them cape and cowel up there on the top shelf. They are smothered in just as much self-righteous sauce as the originally outraged, but often add a little carmelized condescending on top.
Anyway, back to the main point. I've always thought that art should be a reflection of its society. This doesn't mean propaganda. Part of this reflection is reflecting on the society to see and comment on its ills, but it is also to see what is good and celebratory. Instead, though, art, as practiced by most of these you hear of, exists purely to criticize or shock its society. They call it "comment", but it is just criticism. Rarely is it ever celebratory, and when it is, it is purely in a cynical way as in this Hamas thing. When it does celebrate, it celebrates something that is supposed to shock and insult society (and often decency) at large. Art has been reduced to a repetitive, hectoring nag who likes to flash its saggy, pierced-nipple tits now and again.
But, thinking about it a bit more, this art really is a reflection of its society. These artists have removed themselves from the societies they purport to comment on, which explains why their comment is often so, well, fucking wacky, in order to create and live in their own world. When they think they are "commenting", they are actually just reflecting their own biases, predujices and bigotry.
Posted by fad at 5:09am
December 9th, 2004
Oh Yeah
One more. A happy 35th birthday to my brother. Which also means it's traditional time to put up the Christmas decorations.[strews colored lights about the room and plugs them in]
Ahhhh.
Posted by fad at 6:18pm
Still Working On The Cut Off And Adjusting The Focus
Yup. That's the only post today. Consider it an artistic statement and commentary on our times.
Posted by fad at 5:26pm
A Posting
The guy who sang The Beverly Hillbillies themesong has died.
Posted by fad at 11:06am
December 8th, 2004
Fucking Jury Duty
You said it, post title. Fuckin' jury duty.
Posted by fad at 6:08pm
Woosh
Call the Mythbusters, we have magic quicksand on the loose.Dutch scientists believe their research, showing how very fine, aerated sand can turn into dry quicksand capable of sucking in objects, could offer a possible explanation for puzzling disappearances in the desert.Hmmmm...I wonder if this explains the disappearance of my little, portable radio and all those mail order brides from my apartment.
[...]
"Indeed, reports that travelers and whole vehicles have been swallowed instantly may even turn out to be credible in the light of our results," the scientists said in the journal.
Posted by fad at 4:43pm
Stupid LAX
Even though smokers always seem to lose their lighters, you know they'll now always forget they have one with them at the airport.Passengers already are barred from smoking on commercial flights. Now they won't be allowed to bring their butane lighters on board either.Maybe next time I fly I should take my fancy-lad cigar lighter along so it can be confiscated away to join my fancy-lad cigar cutter they took over two years ago.
As part of the intelligence reform bill passed Wednesday, Congress added the lighters to the long list of banned items
Posted by fad at 3:43pm
For Those Who Know
I just typed a SQL query starting with "grep" and then stared at it for a couple minutes trying to figure out why the hell it wouldn't work.
Posted by fad at 3:23pm
Universe At Risk
Dick Clark has suffered a small stroke."The doctors tell me I should be back in the swing of things before too long so I'm hopeful to be able to make it to Times Square to help lead the country in bringing in the New Year once again," Clark said in a statement.I wonder if time would stop if he wasn't on TeeVee to see in the new year.
Posted by fad at 2:32pm
You'll Get Used To Them
Combine this technology with public wireless access and, well, I'm due for quite a few headaches.Users attach a device to their laptops that resembles a crystal ball with a nozzle. The device receives aroma data from the central server and exudes fumes from the nozzle in accordance with that reading.It should come with some sort of headphone equivalent for the nose.
[...]
In a test version, shown at a Tokyo electronics store this week, the crystal ball sends combinations of 36 scents natural oils, such as eucalyptus, sandalwood and basil as horoscope readings.
Punch your birthday into the computer and wait as valves on tiny bottles holding perfumed oils inside the crystal ball are electronically controlled to produce the correct scent according to your sign.
Posted by fad at 1:21pm
Watch For It On eBay
That tuck of plastic explosives French police planted in a bag in order to train their sniffin' dogs still hasn't been found.Authorities believe the suitcase left Paris between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. on Friday and could have wound up on any of about 100 flights.Which means that at least one airport in the world you can pick up baggage at a claim and walk out with it all the time containing some plastic explosives.
''There were flights that went to the United States, to Japan, South America,'' said police spokesman Pierre Bouquin. ''Basically, it could have gone anywhere -- to the four corners of the world.''
[...]
One dog successfully identified the bag, but police then lost track of it when they went to fetch a second dog for the exercise.
Posted by fad at 1:00pm
A Christmas Velvet
-----BEGIN PGP MESSAGE-----Version: GnuPG v1.2.1 (GNU/Linux)
jA0EAwMCVwYxcmhQxbVgyU2txJ4HZLrRJ+k8ROugfsZOUQh4dZH+hJ/jVzZepSjF
VZgUjR/CF1YW6MYUbS8wATtBngQeIXkAqM092owygNutmLX5W2FCMQMSR92y+A==
=R6hK
-----END PGP MESSAGE-----
(It doesn't use a key, just a very simple one word passphrase)
UPDATE: It decrypts to "Ovaltine? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"
Hey, it amused me.
Posted by fad at 11:49am
Je Suis Look Like Two French Words
Yet another thing Napoleon and I have in common.The memoirs reveal what numerous corrections and a vivacious writing style could not disguise -- that the commander of Grande Armee that subdued most of continental Europe had a less than total command of the French language.Add that to the fact that I am destined to be emperor of France as well be dead for at least 183 years, and I think I can officially claim that reincarnation I'm always rattling on about.
The Corsican's spelling was atrocious.
Posted by fad at 7:35am
Overzealous?
Though framed to create the greatest amount of sympathy possible, the information here is still quite interesting.In an apparent reversal of decades of U.S. practice, recent federal Office of Foreign Assets Control regulations bar American companies from publishing works by dissident writers in countries under sanction unless they first obtain U.S. government approval.More accurately -- or, better, more completely -- no new work by someone from a country under sanctions may be published without government approval.
Several groups, led by the PEN American Center and including Arcade Publishing, have filed suit in U.S. District Court in New York seeking to overturn the regulations, which cover writers in Iran, Sudan, Cuba, North Korea and, until recently, Iraq.I didn't look up any of these groups, so it is entirely possible they are quite batshit. The important part, to me right now, is that there is a court challenge which might be interesting to follow. Getting around the typically over-the-top comments from Amnesty International come these comments from a law professor.
Kmiec, who is not part of the legal challenge, said the First Amendment — and subsequent court rulings — generally preclude the government from restricting publications before they are made.This all stems from a set of regulations begun in 1917 under the Trading With The Enemy Act. However, these new rule interpretations have created this situation.
"It does allow for limitations where there are clear and present dangers and compelling foreign policy or other interests that can be tangibly and authentically demonstrated," Kmiec said. "But short of that special application and very rare circumstance, government censorship is properly off-limits. These efforts to restrain in advance are almost sure to fail."
U.S. publishers are allowed to reissue, for example, Cuban communist propaganda or officially approved books but not original works by writers whom the Cuban government has stifled.And, again, they can also reissue any dissident books published prior to this rule interpretation. As I said, the framing of this by the author to make the Bush administration sound as bad as possible is a bit too obvious, but it's important to know.
Posted by fad at 7:25am
Neeeerrrrrrdddd
Once again the Man is trying to keep art down.The plan was to build a 20-by-12-foot model of a Jawa Sandcrawler, a relatively obscure icon from the original "Star Wars" film, before the next installment of the saga "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" opens in May.At that point, life can be declared well lived. What problems could there be with this idea?
First, the Mulch Express property is in a historic redevelopment area where the Sandcrawler might not fit in architecturally.For The Children™, of course.
[...]
"This is certainly one of those gray areas," Sayer told the newspaper. "This could wind up being an attractive nuisance and a safety concern if kids try to climb on it."
Seven years ago, the "Star Wars" fanatic became so frustrated that official "Star Wars" vehicles were not built to the same scale as the action figures that he started making models himself. His collection dominates his family's living room and he estimates he's seen the first movie as many as 1,000 times.Let me guess. There's little Han, the twins, Luke and Leia (but since they are both boys, Leia usually goes by his middle name, Tim), Biggs, Ben and the unfortunate Porkins.
[...]
"I think they're closed-minded," [...] the father of six children, said
Posted by fad at 7:00am
Jimminy Jillickers
This reminds me of the visions I had during that period when I decided that expiration dates on food and medicine were really just a government plot to fuel the capitalist lie of happiness through constant consumerism.Victoria and David Beckham's wax doubles have been given starring roles in a celebrity nativity scene at Madame Tussauds in London.Throw in Mickey Rooney -- the live one, not a wax version -- as the baby Jesus, and you've got one hell of a set.
The pair play Mary and Joseph, while Tony Blair, George Bush and the Duke of Edinburgh make up the three wise men.
Actors Hugh Grant, Samuel L Jackson and comedian Graham Norton play shepherds and singer Kylie Minogue is the angel.
Posted by fad at 6:12am
Home Of The Wacky Crime Statistics
Time for a little more of that local pride.Starting next year, motorists driving west over the Poplar, Jefferson Barracks and Interstate 270 bridges into Missouri will be greeted with this: "Welcome to Missouri. Home of Shandi Finnessey Miss USA 2004."Finally. I can't believe it's taken this long.
"She's a hottie, and she's a smarty," said state Sen. Jon Dolan, R-Lake Saint Louis, whose idea it was to put up the signs.There's one of those damned words again.
Although these three signs, 10 feet wide by 2 feet tall, will cost the state just $1,200 to build and install, they're still monumental - if only in a historic sense.Makes me wonder how many other "oh, it's just $1200" type things the state is doing. She grew up in Florissant. I'm pretty sure they could find $1200 in private donations just from there, let alone the whole state. And since it is the state doing this, is it putting signs on the other major entry points of the state? Is this $1200 just for these 3 signs with more money going to others? We may never know. Ok, we could, but I'm feeling too lazy right now to try to find out.
Posted by fad at 6:05am
December 7th, 2004
Read The Fine Print
Oooo! Oooo! Pick me!.Russian scientists are selecting volunteers to be locked in a capsule for 500 days to test plans for a trip to Mars.I'm not doing anything. Sounds perfect.
A team of six men will be physically cut off from the outside world to test equipment intended to make them self-sufficient for long periods.Woah..."self-sufficient"... that's one of those code words for "work". Sorry, count me out.
Posted by fad at 6:51pm
Brightside
Any day whose to-do list includes "cook up a metric assload of bacon" can't be all bad, I guess.
Posted by fad at 4:26pm
A Posting
The media really could be replaced by a pretty simplistic computer. Leading up to today, it's all a clatter of "The intelligence bill needs to be passed! The intelligence bill needs to be passed! Has it passed yet? Has it passed yet? Oh God why hasn't it passed yet!" And now that it appears it will, immediately the tone switches to this.For all the changes in the intelligence bill, many question whether it will help prevent another terrorist attack and make the major improvements promised by ardent supporters."It doesn't appear to be enough, nor does it look like it will actually do anything." Happens every freakin' time the "Do something! Anything! Preferably for The Children™ if you can work the little nippers in!" shouts get going. Then once it is done, an article comes out declaring it not enough or essentially worthless. Just more template reporting. I should be an editor or in charge of assignments. I already know the pattern by heart.
Posted by fad at 4:21pm
Skin Of Evil
I'm not big on awards season (though mocking the Oscars™©ö is always fun), but, damn, there are few things sadder than blog awards season. May it be over with soon.
Posted by fad at 3:02pm
Primary Sources
What a precious source.As flames engulfed the Warsaw ghetto in its last days in 1943, a young Jewish woman hiding from Nazi soldiers kept a journal about her fight to survive in a cramped basement.And what horror that such things were there to be chronicled.
The six-page diary, apparently the only account written during the uprising that survived the battle, has surfaced at a Holocaust museum in Israel.
[...]
The woman's account begins on day six of the uprising - April 24, 1943. She lives with several others in the basement of a house, hidden from the Nazis.
[...]
Shavit, the director of the archives, said since the author's identity is not known, it is unclear what became of her.
[...]
"The only thing we are left with is our hiding place," she writes. "Of course this will not be a safe place for very long."
The last words seem to indicate death is near.
"We live this day, this hour, this moment."
Posted by fad at 1:09pm
Used To Be Hotbot Or Nothing
Oh boy. A new search engine. Though this one is Clinton approved!Former president Bill Clinton on Monday helped launch a new Internet search company backed by the Chinese government which says its technology uses artificial intelligence to produce better results than Google Inc.Does the deal include any clauses that let the Chinese government tell Accoona which results to censor for them? I know that's a borderline "when did you stop beating your wife" question, but I still have to say it's there in my mind.
"I hope you all make lots of money," Clinton told executives at the launch of Accoona Corp., which donated an undisclosed amount to the William J. Clinton Foundation.
The Chinese government, one of several large backers, has granted Accoona a 20-year exclusive partnership with the China Daily Information Co., the government agency that runs an official Chinese and English Web site.
The deal gives Accoona data on some 5 million Chinese companies, which Accoona sees as a lucrative opportunity as U.S. businesses seek to do business in China ahead of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.
Posted by fad at 12:47pm
Small Details
Yes, this isn't good news, but there is one thing I wanted to point out.Mary Travers, 67, of Peter, Paul and Mary is undergoing chemotherapy for a form of leukemia, but a full remission is expected within a few months, her publicist, Ken Sunshine, said Tuesday.I do hope she recovers and the pain isn't too bad. But it just seems almost silly perfect that someone from Peter, Paul and Mary has a publicist whose lastname is "Sunshine".
Posted by fad at 12:26pm
Random Confession
I cannot read or hear the word "Kon-Tiki" without the Monchichi song starting to play in my head.
Posted by fad at 11:57am
Damn Cultural Destruction
This is interesting information about assimilation -- and generational assimilation -- of immigrants.Hispanics who identify themselves as ''white'' tend to be better educated and less likely to be in poverty than those who consider themselves ''some other race,'' according to a report released Monday by a private research group.I have no real comment on this. I just thought it was interesting.
[...]
'White'' also was more popular among the U.S.-born grandchildren of immigrants than among the U.S.-born children of foreign-born Hispanics.
Posted by fad at 11:54am
No One Shows My Movies
Sure, they may make movies in them big cities like LA, New York and Chicago (and Toronto, which is often substituted for Chicago), but the stars come to St. Louis!On Monday, Hollywood stars Judd Nelson and Kristy Swanson emerged from a two-week submersion in the labyrinth below the old city plant, built in 1871 at the corner of Bissell and Blair streets.Wow. Kristy Swanson and Judd Nelson in my town. The Buffy no one remembers and the voice of that shitty guy who "replaced" Optimus Prime
The pair is starring in a new movie to be called - appropriately in view of the shooting locations - "The Black Hole." The film is being made on a $3.5 million budget by Nu ImageI'll be checking my Sci-Fi Channel schedule for that one. If I can remember which channel that is.
Posted by fad at 11:37am
Word I Learned Today
"bruited"
Posted by fad at 10:27am
Old Stories Not Told Well
New Mexican Secret Jews sounds like the title to a bad -- and likely anti-Semetic -- pulp novel, but, thankfully, it's just exactly what it says.As a boy, the Rev. William Sanchez sensed he was different. His Catholic family spun tops on Christmas, shunned pork and whispered of a past in medieval Spain. If anyone knew the secret, they weren't telling, and Sanchez stopped asking.But mostly I linked this to give an excuse to type a story I've typed out here many times and am gonna do it again because it's my site, dammit! It's my site, mother! I'll do what I want! Stop staring, mother. They're my friends; I can have friends! They do not just comment to taunt me, mother; stop all the SHOUTING!
[...]
He began a DNA project to test his relatives, along with some parishioners at Albuquerque's St. Edwin's Church, where he works. As word got out, others in the community began contacting him. So Sanchez expanded the effort to include Hispanics throughout the state.
Of the 78 people tested, 30 are positive for the marker of the Cohanim, whose genetic line remains strong because they rarely married non-Jews throughout a history spanning up to 4,000 years.
Anyway. Years ago I worked with a guy whose direct managers changed often enough he managed to scam both Christian holidays (for instance he got to take Good Friday off) and Jewish holidays without penalty to his vacation or sick time since the manager would just say, "Oh, religious thing. Yeah, just take the day." It is important to realize this was years ago in a .com when the balance leaned toward the employee abusing the relationship rather than the employer.
He was finally nailed when he didn't show up for work the day after Christmas. Someone called his cell to see what was up . "What did he say?" "He said it was Boxing Day, and he didn't think anyone was coming in." To which someone in his group yelled out, "Wait a minute. Ok, he's Christian, Jewish, and now Canadian? No way. He can be two, but not all three. Tell him to get his ass in here now."
Posted by fad at 10:02am
Smash The System
Tragic news was released the other day.The number of electronic payment transactions last year totaled 44.5 billion — exceeding the number of checks paid, 36.7 billion — according to Federal Reserve studies released yesterday.Anything that facilitates the rampage of capitalism is deeply disturbing for the world even if it means fewer trees are being exploited to further their own destruction. It's bad enough that there were 81.2 billion transactions period.
Posted by fad at 9:42am
Whatever Happened In That Berger Case
It's amazing how many important papers have been left out on the street or stuffed in Sandy Berger's socks lately.The files are believed to contain detailed security arrangements for Gen Pervez Musharraf's visit this week, including police codes."It was...er...just a test of the citizenry. Well done, citizens. Well done."
[...]
"We cannot discuss who was responsible for the documents, only that they contained the policing arrangements for the official visit," said the spokesman.
The papers are believed to have been found by a member of the public in a street in Mayfair and given to the Mirror newspaper.Finding such papers and, first instinct, handing them over to the Mirror probably says quite a bit about the person who found them.
Posted by fad at 6:42am
The Oops Galaxy
Poor little galaxy.The Hubble Space Telescope has spotted what may be the youngest galaxy ever seen in the Universe.Not only is it the runt of the universe, but then it had to get stuck with a name like that. All the other galaxies are going to pick on it and tease it mercilessly. Plus it'll never have anything of its own, just galactic hand-me-downs.
[...]
Called I Zwicky 18, it has provided astronomers with a rare glimpse into what the Universe's first diminutive galaxies might have looked like.
Posted by fad at 6:09am
Not Using It Anyway
You find a wallet or purse lying around, and what do most people do? Check it for identification.A bus passenger checking an unattended purse for identification found a human skull inside, Royal Canadian Mounted Police said.And what better means of identification could there be than carrying your own skull around. Heck, I'm considering it myself as part of a fresh start in the new year.
Posted by fad at 6:02am
Infamy
"Pearl Harbor Survivors Mark Anniversary"2,390 who were killed that day. Sixty three years on, there aren't many survivors left.
Posted by fad at 5:56am
I Hate Template Reporting No Matter The Topic Or Bias
Of course with 62 anniversaries covered already, by now, bored with just straight coverage, we get all the conspiracy stuff. Or worse, some hack whose nuanced mind can only operate in the "war and America bad!" template trying to create some desperate equivalence of Pearl Harbor to anything happening in Iraq in the last month. And that's anything that happened. As I typed, it's a template, not an argument or idea. It's Madlibs reporting."Today in [a city in Iraq] there were [a number] killed. Reminds one of [recent anniversary of a historical attack/action against the United States to which you wish to draw equivalency in order to paint the US as as bad as any former aggressor]."
Thinking is easier when you don't have to do it.
At least no one I know of tries to claim that only Hawaii has a right to be upset about the attack, and only those families who lost someone that day should be allowed to remember it and maybe get a bit upset.
Posted by fad at 5:53am
December 6th, 2004
We Could Have Just Drank The Stuff
Sometimes you just know there is a channel surfing god out there somewhere. You're up a little late, not sleeping any time soon, flipping around for some distraction and then, if you're lucky like I was tonight, you come across the Motley Crüe Behind the Music.
Posted by fad at 11:55pm
It Feels Warm If You Go Outside For A Bit
Time for another update in the Furnace Challenge. It's starting to look like I won't be able to reach my goal of 54 degrees before cracking. Not that I can't handle the temperature right now, but that it doesn't look like it will get down there unless I cheat by opening the windows for a while. It still hovers between 58 and 62, so the new challenge is just to get to the new year before turning on the furnace. It should be pretty damn easy.Sorry to disappoint you all. I know you were counting on this.
Posted by fad at 5:47pm
Books Are Evil
Please. Make it stop.Meet the latest celebrity children's author: Gloria Estafan. And don't forget her dog, Noelle.Celebrity children's books are a plague upon the land. I do wonder, though, how one gets the gig of doing the actual writing.
"I don't think too much is known about the affinity that I feel for animals. I have a very real connection with them and although I've had many pets, especially dogs, I have found a new and very unique connection with my 2-year-old English Bulldog, Noelle,"
[...]
According to HarperCollins, the currently untitled book "will center on the life and adventures of an intrepid bulldog named Noelle who doesn't feel like she fits into the new and mythical land she now calls home."
Posted by fad at 4:04pm
Predictable Weather
Once again, naked eye astronomical event is due to happen.A rare and spectacular event will occur in the early morning hours of Tuesday, Dec. 7 when the brilliant planet Jupiter and three of its largest satellites pass behind Earth's Moon.Let's look at the weather forecast for around here: Yup. Cloudy and rainy during that time. As always.
Astronomers refer to this phenomenon as an "occultation," taken from the Latin occultare, which means to conceal. This eye-catching sight will be visible in complete darkness across all of eastern and much of central North America.
Posted by fad at 4:00pm
The Pee Spot
The great city of Pittsburgh presents to you the piss patrol.Since November 2003, Turko and Weger have patrolled the city's South Side, one of the country's oldest Victorian-era shopping districts in the country by day -- but one of the city's best places to drink at night. They bust bladder-heavy revelers looking for relief in alleys, the sides of houses and in dark corners.What a fun and joyous job that must be.
Posted by fad at 3:01pm
Crazy
Rage is so attractive.The 14- and 16-year-old boys were bouncing the golf ball in a shopping center parking lot Sunday afternoon when it went astray and struck the SUV[.]So alls well, then.
[...]
No damage was done, and the boys apologized and began to walk away
Allen started to drive away, but suddenly made a U-turn, ran over a median and struck the teens before knocking over a light pole, Suchy said.She was smoking around children?!?! Yeah, yeah, she ran two over nearly killing them (and one is still in bad shape), but, still, smoking around children shows her depravity.
She then allegedly went after a third brother, but did not hit him. A witness said that after the SUV came to rest, Allen got out of the car and smoked a cigarette with the boys lying on the ground in pain.
Posted by fad at 2:28pm
Money For Nothing
What do you do when you think the world's going to end soon? Well, if you're these guys you mortgage away a future you don't think will be there.For more than a decade, a 9,000-member polygamist sect that believed civilization was about to end was borrowing money like there was no tomorrow.Why not take out loans when you don't expect you'll ever have to pay them back?
At one point, the amount of money borrowed by members of the sect amounted to around $18 million, or about 90 percent of the institution's loan portfolio - three times higher than what prudent bank management dictates, regulators said.Which means the bank was ready to fail.
With the collapse, 13 of 30 bank employees lost their jobs and pensions, and some must sell their houses. The bank's failure also left 50 uninsured depositors, including turkey farmers, the Chevy dealer and a state college, with a combined $3.6 million in losses. Many were small-business owners who learned too late that deposits over $100,000 are uninsured.What idiot mismanagement that was, and it probably ruined some people.
(Updated to be less morbid)
Posted by fad at 1:52pm
No One's Ever Really All That Drunk
'Tis the season of stealing the baby Jesus.This time, the alleged offender only made it a few blocks before he was caught by Chicago Police who were alerted by two witnesses who said they saw the 19-year-old suspect pull the handpainted, 3-foot, 6-pound imported figurine from its crib.What reason could he have (besides getting attention and his name in the paper)?
a Texas resident who came to Chicago to study at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, said he didn't set out to steal Jesus. He said he was out for a very-early-morning walk around the city Sunday and saw the baby in the crib and wanted it.Because property is already theft, you know. So when you want something, you just take it. Therefore don't you dare say he stole it.
So he took it.
"It wasn't really a prank. I was just walking around the city and bored. It wasn't premeditated,'' [the man] said Sunday morning, standing outside the Central District police station at 18th and State, minutes after he was released on misdemeanor theft charges.So, like, quit hasseling him, man.
[...]
"I was just walking around. ... I wasn't even stealing it. I was just walking around with it. I was probably just going to set it down.''
Chicago Police said [he] had been drinking before he came upon the nativity scene, although [he] said he wasn't "even that drunk.''Somehow I knew drinking was going to step in to this story at some point. Let's timeline this a bit, here. He was on a "very-early-morning walk", but late enough that there were enough witnesses and police around. So, had he been drinking all night and was wandering his way home, or did he wake up at 5 or 6 on a Sunday and breakfast up with some hair of the dog before heading out for a constitutional?
Posted by fad at 12:43pm
Minkee
Another idea dead before its time.French police said yesterday that they had ended their practice of hiding plastic explosives in air passengers' luggage to train bomb-sniffing dogs after one such bag got lost, possibly ending up on a flight out of Paris' Charles de Gaulle airport.No detonation device was attached, but another 5oz of plastic explosives is now loose and out there.
Police did not know the bag's destination and quickly alerted the relevant airlines.So think about that for a bit. Sure, we have our bags opened and searched here, but they took the extra step of taking your baggage at random and sticking some explosives in it. That's quality service.
Posted by fad at 12:24pm
The Film Protects
I've been telling you all for years, hygiene is bad for you.Experiments with the brain cells of rats show that contact with an ingredient found in shampoos, hand lotions and paint causes neurons to die.Let's see you laugh at my life choice to not bathe now.
Posted by fad at 10:16am
Fucking ELF
Something smells funny here, and it ain't the smoke.A large fire Monday morning destroyed 11 expensive houses that were still under construction next to an environmental preserve in southern Maryland.I sense a Keebler presence here.
There were no reports of injuries and no word yet on the cause
Posted by fad at 9:55am
Con Queso
Another list related to movies. This time, it's cheesiest lines.Actor Leonardo DiCaprio's declaration "I'm the king of the world!" in the film Titanic has been voted the cheesiest line in movie history.I'm guessing this list was made up from movies that generally didn't play Friday nights on Cinemax. Few lists of cheesy lines could stand up to those.
Patrick Swayze's famous line in Dirty Dancing - "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" - came second in the survey.Second? But it was 6th in the best catchphrases poll. Should have topped both.
Posted by fad at 6:48am
Bo'le Right Over Yer 'ead
Now that's fan dedication.A rail company says a number of Ipswich Town fans refused to board one of its trains because it bore the name of Norwich City director Delia Smith.Never question the rationality of a soccer fan. At least where one could hear you.
Posted by fad at 6:41am
Break Things Too
You know, when I took a job working on web applications I never thought they'd actually want me to type too! So I can totally sympathize we these guys.War can turn strangers into brothers. It's true if they're fighting it, and it's true if they're resisting it, as Vietnam War resisters resettled in this Canadian province know.Makes it sound like there's a flood of people running, doesn't it? Let's get an estimate of the numbers.
In an American era of "love it or leave it," they left. Now a number have joined to help peace activists here form a new "underground railway" for resisters to the Iraq war, providing food and shelter and transportation north.
[One's] fate will set the tone for a half-dozen other American soldiers seeking asylum in the face of the Iraq war.Half a dozen. That's a carefully chosen term to leave the impression of more than there really are since the last word the reader's mind sees is "dozen". Sounds a lot more impressive than just 6.
The 21st-century generation of deserters volunteered to serve. [One] said he enlisted to get an education, not to kill people.The military killing people. What will come next? Here's the first thing he should have been educated on: Armies kill people. It's one of their primary functions. They aren't there primarily for you to sap up tax dollars for your education.
Oh, and I have to end with this paragraph from the story. It's so cliched, it's almost right out of a parody.
"Not following the U.N. charter, not going through proper steps, not following international law," says [one former dodger now trying to sneak deserters into Canada] a Swedish-born son of a diplomat.Sounds exactly like what the Swedish-born son of a diplomat would say. Add in that he's a sociology professor, and I'd be inclined to think he was a hoaxer because that's just too many perfect details.
Posted by fad at 6:18am