November 27th, 2004
Post To Reach A Meaningless Milestone
Dammit. I just read that the Trashcan Sinatras are coming to the US again in December. Once again, just hitting the coasts so the closest and cheapest is once again LA. But, I think I'm going to have to pass this time.This post brought to you by the fact that I noticed the next entry id was "4000" so wanted to dash something out to get there now.
Posted by fad at 4:33pm
November 26th, 2004
In Which Some Worthless Content Is Provided
So how goes the no furnace challenge? I'm glad you asked. And you did ask. I distinctly heard the questions whispered in my head. Among others....no, I mustn't answer them here.After a stretch of strangely warm late October and early November days, finally some fall and winter cold set in. As of yesterday, it got down to 58 degrees in my apartment. However, for some strange reason there has been a backtracking to 60 today. Hopefully this agression will not stand. My goal is to make it to at least 54 before I snap.
(Before some warm weather person wastes their time temperature taunting, you should be warned that I like cold and don't care that it's warmer where your chafed ass is sitting.)
Posted by fad at 9:32am
November 25th, 2004
For Anyone Who Stops By Today
Happy Thanksgiving!And, to the non-US among you, you'll please forgive my cultural imperialism for hoping that you have things for which to be thankful today as well.
Posted by fad at 10:28am
November 24th, 2004
Whoops
Links are back. I was messing with the template and screwed it up. I know. Me? Fuck up? The hell I say! Anyway, just noticed now they were gone, so fixed it. I'd say I deserved a cookie if it hadn't been my fault in the first place.
Posted by fad at 6:54pm
No Problems
Made it home safe. Admit it. You're a little disappointed.
Posted by fad at 5:46pm
Changed Note
On that topic below, I should say this now. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving, everyone. Hopefully none of you -- especially you -- will have time or desire to visit here tomorrow. Enjoy time with your families and friends.
Posted by fad at 5:05pm
Danger Me
Off to brave the attempt home. If I don't make it, well, try not to celebrate too much. It's just unseemly.
Posted by fad at 5:01pm
Don't Be Downwind
I've had bad breath, but I don't think it ever required lasers.Bad breath is usually caused by the build-up of bacteria around the gums and teeth which release foul-smelling gases but in more serious cases bacteria breed in grooves in the tonsils.Then again, maybe it does. It would explain a lot.
[...]
The laser treatment hits the infected tissue in the tonsils and creates scar tissue that seals the grooves so bacteria cannot grow in them.
Posted by fad at 4:05pm
Sven
For some reason, a bunch of people in Sweden think I'm part of their group of friends. Or at least my Hotmail address. They keep including me on group emails. Too bad it's all in Swedish so I can't follow along. I bet they're talking about me and laughing. Ha-ha-ha. Look at English-only boy. Let us make sport of him in our Swedish email ways.
Posted by fad at 2:13pm
Toys For The Wealthy
Round paper towels. Whatever will they think of next?Every time the 60-year-old Esparza wanted to heat up a sandwich in the microwave, he'd cover it up with a paper towel. But he always encountered a little geometrical problem -- the square paper towel would slip off the revolving round plate.Well, for you rich bastards with your fancy-ass revolving plates. Some of us have to hand turn our burritos.
So the Illinois inventor came up with a solution -- round paper towels.
Posted by fad at 1:50pm
Dude, Just Let The Shrimp Hit You. It's Just Shrimp
I knew I had a good reason not to like shrimp.A New York family has filed a $10 million lawsuit, claiming a Japanese chef who tossed cooked shrimp at a man caused him to die ten months later.What an unfortunate chain of events.
The family of the Long Island man [...] says he ducked away from the flying shrimp, wrenched his neck and died from complications caused by the surgery he had on his neck.
Posted by fad at 11:55am
A Thanksgiving List
- Favorite Thanksgiving Food
Whole ripe olives. I refuse to buy them for myself so that they remain a special treat found usually at Thanksgiving or other big meals. - Favorite Thanksgiving Memory
Leon Lett fucking up the game in the snow against Miami. That was glorious (especially after having just completed a 6 hour shift working a buffet). - Least Favorite Thanksgiving Food
Sweet potatos or yams. Awful, foul, evil stuff. - Least Favorite Thanksgiving Memory
Probably this.
Posted by fad at 7:45am
A Distraction
This is blood amusing. Ok, just bloody.(Has sound in case that's an issue.)
Posted by fad at 7:35am
Groovy
I hate those Soap Lake bastards for taking what rightfully should be mine.The Soap Lake City Council has reached agreement with Target Stores to move the company's giant lava lamp from New York City's Times Square to this Central Washington city.With that lamp, I finally would have been somebody. Chicks were gonna dig me and everything.
Target will dismantle the 50-foot lamp Monday for shipment
Posted by fad at 7:08am
Get Your Bread And Milk
Posting may be light today because there's a shotgun full of snow heading our way that might -- brace yourselves -- might produce flurries. By afternoon most people will be eating their young and the rest of us will just be trying to survive the post-apocalyptic society left to us. That and the damn, dirty nuke worshipping apes.UPDATE: Woo! It's a full-bore storm! We're trapped because almost no one can get their car up the hill at the end of the driveway.
Posted by fad at 6:20am
Come Out To Play-eee-ayyyy
An honest to goodness, inter high school rumble. You don't see many of those anymore.A brawl involving dozens of high school students swinging tire irons, baseball bats and golf clubs erupted in a quiet Bethalto neighborhood Saturday, injuring several students and triggering a police investigation.I never participated in one of these myself, mostly because I'm a pacifistic coward, but I remember a couple times kids from my high school and another tried to arrange one. However, they usually descended into UN levels of ridiculous negotiations over what was and wasn't allowed and where it was supposed to go down. Basically, bunch of tough talk, then everyone chickened out.
[...]
Students at Civic Memorial High School in Bethalto on Tuesday said the brawl involved some of their classmates and students at Edwardsville High School who drove to Bethalto.
One student said a Civic Memorial junior, who had been at a party in Edwardsville the previous night, provoked some students there and might have been the catalyst.
Posted by fad at 6:17am
November 23rd, 2004
Unedited. So Please Ignore Spelling, Grammar And Other Errors.
Since the election there's been quite a few articles either by or quoting people who are just exasperated that they are so damn sophisticated and smart but are trapped in a nation full of absolute ignorants. My favorite was one that went out to find Christians digusted by the whole "values" thing. One woman said, "Yes, I'm a Christian. But I'm a Christian with a brain." I suspect she may be one of those spiritual people who merely express their spiritualness in a Christian looking manner, but couldn't say for sure just from that statement.Anyway, reading these things reminded me of a short series I dashed off about a year and a half ago. It was supposed to be a squishy liberal version of The Bleat. So I decided, what the hell, I'll repost them. Well, until the self-loathing over thinking anything is worth reposting takes control.
So here is Le Rejet by Blueleks.
Posted by fad at 6:37pm
Public Notice
I would like it to be known that I was not at the local mall this last weekend.
Posted by fad at 4:44pm
Lies. Always With The Medical Lies
Alcohol kills brain cells. It's something we all know and love to joke about. Well, at least me ("Going to need a lot of beer to kill the brain cells holding those memories!"). We may be losing this joke.Published in the journal Neuroscience, the research found that subjects who developed Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, a severe disorder that ravages the memory and stems from a thiamine deficiency associated with alcoholism, had a marked reduction in cell density in the cerebellum.At least, on my part, they weren't good jokes.
But there was little difference between alcoholics who did not develop the syndrome and normal subjects, suggesting that it was largely a lack of thiamine in the Wernicke-Korsakoff patients that killed off their cells.
Posted by fad at 3:38pm
Gattaca
A conviction straight out of a CSI episode.Pearson who had 76 pervious convictions for crimes such as burglary, assault and robbery was only arrested in June for the caravan crime after the relatively new DNA procedure matched his dandruff with a swab of his saliva.Except on CSI, since it is sweeps, it would have been pubes found at a transgendered swingers furry party.
Posted by fad at 2:11pm
There Is A Connection
I miss Phil Hartman.
Posted by fad at 1:24pm
An Observation
You know, when I settled on the name for this site a year and a week ago or so, I never did suspect how many people out there are actually searching for farm accident stories or pictures.
Posted by fad at 12:41pm
She Changed Her Name To Rainbow Barkstrip
"Lynne Cheney tops National Christmas Tree"And she's not coming down until the logging stops or Ron Artest's suspension is reduced.
UPDATE: Yes, I know they changed the headline. They always do that.
Posted by fad at 11:58am
We'll Miss The Crazy
So Dan Rather is stepping away from the evening news, but not until 2005. Which is, as he would put it, "slower than a horn frog trying to hitch his way down a dusty desert highway dragging Aunt Martha's Sunday dress stuffed full of corn pone behind him."Coraje, old friend, coraje.
Posted by fad at 11:45am
Ball Is Already Rolling And Other Cliches
I remember that study saying obesity was as bad or worse than smoking. It was the one that really jumpstarted all this hub-bub from media created storm to "We have to do something!!!!! Think of The Children™!!!!!"An analysis of the study, which was released in March and predicted that obesity would surpass tobacco as the leading cause of preventable death, found that mathematical errors may have inflated the 2000 death toll attributed to obesity by 80,000, the Journal said.Math is hard.
Posted by fad at 11:22am
A Worthless Bitching
If the news didn't cover the "lots of people travel over Thanksgiving" story, would a tree fall in a forest? It would give them more time to prepare to be surprised that it sometimes snows and gets cold in the northeast during winter.
Posted by fad at 10:08am
But, I Suspect, In Reality No One Will Care
Hobbit feets, rejoice. Your heritage is preserved.The house where JRR Tolkien wrote the Hobbit and most of the Lord of the Rings has been given protected status.'Tis my goal that the state's first instinct upon coming up to one of my former dwellings is to demolish it and salt the ground.
Despite having no special architectural qualities, 20 Northmoor Road in Oxford is to be a Grade II listed building.
Posted by fad at 7:23am
Die, Motherfucker. Die.
Spaniards are working through their rage.For 40 euros ($52), they can pick up sledgehammers and bash away on anything from cars and computers to mobile phones and even photos of the boss.Fifty-two bucks? Seems a bit stiff for something I could just bash into the neighbor's house to do for free.
Held in Lubia, 160 kms (100 miles) northeast of Madrid, it is described as "damage therapy", says Reuters.
A study by the UK's University of Surrey earlier this year found that modern gadgets such as mobile phones and laptop computers were increasing levels of workplace stress.As usual, it isn't the objects themselves, but the way people use them. Like how the person with the loudest and most annoying cell phone ring is also the person most often leaves their phone behind when they are so often away from their desk. Or that person who cannot turn off the phone or the ringer during lunch.
Posted by fad at 7:08am
Supernature
Normally you won't see me marching with my comrades in anti-GM protests -- mostly because that involves walking and shit. Drum circles I can handle, but walking? Seems almost arrogantly. mockingly proletarian. -- but this time the "scientists" have gone too far.It's a burning issue for some hot-pepper lovers: Whatever possessed Kevin M. Crosby to create the mild habanero?That's half of a jalapeno. This is an abomination. Everyone involved is an abomination. Anyone who eats these is an abomination. Beware, for a reckoning shall be had.
[...]
A&M's mild version registers a tepid 2,300 [Scoville units], or barely one-hundredth of its coolest formidable namesake.
Posted by fad at 6:53am
I Won't Be Kicked Out Of Story Time Again
Once again, libraries are trying to deprive us of our civil rights.Since Nov. 1, adults without children may select items in the children's section, but they cannot read books or loiter in the department, said Marilyn Hoffman, community-relations coordinator.Hey, that's profiling!
`It's, in part, a pre-emptive move.''They're treating innocent adults as criminals just because of where they are standing. I'm going to go there, loiter (mmmm...loiter), get kicked out, have my feelings hurt, and then sue the old National Geographics out of them for the mental distress.
Posted by fad at 6:38am
November 22nd, 2004
Top 5 Recalled Toys
- Baby's First Starving Rottweiler Mobile
- Easy Bake Deep Fryer
- Sit-n-Spike
- Little Paleface's Nightlight Tanner
- It's Noose!
Posted by fad at 5:56pm
The Post Below
Yes. You waited over 5 hours just for that. But to prove what a shithole site this can be, I'm a-gonna leave that post, with that pathetic and dated joke, up.
Posted by fad at 5:16pm
Avoiding The Baby Arm Story
"Bush wants proof of Iran's suspended nuclear efforts"Pssst...hey, Iran. I hear tell that Dan Rather is real damn good at producing any "proof" you need. You might give him a call while CBS is all distracted with their in-depth investigation.
Posted by fad at 5:14pm
Around Here, We Call That A Wednesday
I figure this story will be linked or mentioned quite a bit, so was going to let it go by.Moorhead police arrested a man who was naked from the waist down after he allegedly assaulted a clerk in a grocery store.But one detail forced my hand.
He fled on foot, and got into a vehicle driven by his mother a few blocks away.I'm sure there'll be some mental illness angle to this that will make it less amusing, but for now, I'll enjoy my ignorance.
Posted by fad at 12:14pm
I Am Writor!
It's Lit Idol contest time again.The second Pop Idol-style search for literary talent has begun with the help of the brother of Simon Cowell.Damn. I didn't think there would be any reading involved. Just writing. That makes it a little tougher for me since I try never to read anything I write.
Writer Tony Cowell is among the judges who will hear aspiring writers read their work aloud. The winner gets a deal with literary agency Curtis Brown.
This year, the competition is specifically looking for a crime writer.Crime/mystery novel, eh? I think my cabbage story could easily be converted to that. Those others best not even bother entering.
Writers must submit up to 10,000 words from the opening chapters of their novels and a synopsis.
Posted by fad at 10:58am
Current Town Pride
We was robbed!Camden has been named the nation's most-dangerous city, snatching the top spot from DetroitSt. Louis is all the way down to #4? All my work was for naught? Mmmm...naught.
[...]
Atlanta, Georgia, St. Louis, Missouri, and Gary, Indiana, rounded out the top five in the most dangerous city rankings
However, company president Scott Morgan told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch in its Sunday edition that he had been unaware that St. Louis police omitted 5,760 crimes from their 2003 crime data. Provided with the correct data, Morgan found that St. Louis would have switched places with Atlanta.That's more like it.
Posted by fad at 10:34am
Unknown Word I Have Seen A Lot Lately But Am Too Lazy To Lookup
Ennui
Posted by fad at 10:08am
Terwilliger Q. Batista
Count this as one of the reasons I'm glad I have a unique name.NEWSPAPER advertisements congratulating Australian Idol winner Casey Donovan have mistakenly directed fans to a gay porn website.Whoops.
[...]
But anyone calling up the website will be confronted by a full frontal nude picture of American porn star, Casey Donovan, and links to sales of his gay porn DVDs and videotapes.
Posted by fad at 7:16am
Only Barely Understood The Letter Jacket Too
Among the many things I never understood, class rings was right up there.The prices of class rings, a symbol of school affiliation and pride, have skyrocketed, making some parents and students wonder whether the keepsake is worth the cost.That they were expensive, I knew. My brother got (a relatively cheap) one when he graduated high school in '88, and it was stupidly priced then.
[...]
The rings in the girls Achiever Collection, for instance, range from $270 for white lustrium — Jostens jeweler's own metal blend — with cubic zirconias, to $690 for the high-end white or yellow 14K gold with diamonds.
The boys prices range from $275 for white lustrium with cubic zirconias to $1,155 for white or yellow 14K gold with diamonds.
During the late 1960s and early 1970s, about half of high-school students purchased class rings. Today, only about a third do, he said.That's what surprised me. That a third still get the damn things.
Posted by fad at 7:07am
Bring Back Up With People
Yup. Time to skip another Super Bowl halftime show.Sir Paul McCartney has been chosen to provide the half-time entertainment at this year's Super Bowl gameOnce again, slamming my fingers in a door instead it will be.
Posted by fad at 6:28am
November 21st, 2004
Plastic Crumples
30 years old and I still can't cleanly tear off a piece of cling wrap.
Posted by fad at 1:18pm