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April 5th, 2004
Despite their stupidity, despite all the damage they do, radical environmentalists are always
good for a laugh. First, our subject.
For 19 months, Tre Arrow was one of the most wanted fugitives in America
[...]
Now he's in a jail cell here, facing charges of trying to shoplift bolt cutters. He's begun a hunger strike to protest what he calls injustices in the U.S. legal system, and is eager to talk about the evils of corporate culture -- although not the FBI's case against him.
Hunger strikes are the dumbest, most useless protests. I know it's supposed to show dedication to your cause, but how supporters can claim that it is the system/state/Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man/whatever authority who is forcing this on them is beyond me. Let's see what the FBI thinks he did, and what he ain't keen on talking about.
The FBI believes he's more than an activist. He is accused of firebombing logging trucks and cement trucks in two separate attacks in Oregon in 2001, and is suspected of having links with the Earth Liberation Front, a shadowy group that has claimed responsibility for scores of acts of destruction and vandalism over the past dozen years.
How these groups haven't killed many people yet is amazing, and still inevitable. Now the humor.
Arrow, 30, was born Michael Scarpitti but says the trees told him to change his name.
That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Considering the filthy, perverted things they say to me, I don't think we want to know the rest of his conversations with them.